While some women imagine sophisticated ways to ask the question at their wedding party, others are trying to figure out how to explain that there will be none at all. We’ve seen the “no bridal shower” trend pop up over and over again in recent years, so we talked to two experienced wedding planners about what it’s really like to skip the attendants. Here they share their thoughts on weddings without bridesmaids and groomsmen, and offer tips to help you determine if this trend is right for you.
What to expect.
Wedding celebrations are not necessary in any way, but men and women, forming a traditional group of caregivers, are usually responsible for certain tasks. Without a wedding celebration for the responsibility to be assumed, there is no “law of the land” when it comes to organizing events. “There may not be a bridal shower or bachelor party, girls, unless you planned it yourself or you just ask from a friend or a member of the family,” emphasizes Jove Meyer, owner and creative director of Jove Meyer Events. To avoid confusion, make sure that you clearly communicate all the expectations that you have with a close friend or relative, so that everyone is clear.
And while you might not think going solo on your big day is a big problem, your best friends might feel differently. Pay attention to all the hurt feelings and try to find different ways to recognize those that are important to you. Whether it’s asking them to do a reading, mentioning them in the program or inviting them to prepare with you that morning, a small gesture could greatly help to keep the mood. “Working around a wedding without a wedding party is about having a team,” says Meyer. “All the fun without any responsibility!”
Consider the trend, though…
You are an anti-drama.
If your most important goal for the big day is to keep stress to a minimum, the decision to forgo companions could be of great help. Without organizing schedules, to satisfy conflicting fashion sense, or long “memory!”writing emails has made your planning process much easier. “A wedding party without drama, work and stress is rare,” says Meyer. “Instead of risking it, more and more couples are simply giving up the official roles of the wedding party, but keeping the fun parts so that everyone is happy.”
You have a limited budget.
Everyone knows that a bridesmaid can often be an expensive undertaking. But Emily Peterson, owner of Emily Weddings Inc., emphasizes something that most do not realize: it is also more expensive for the bride and groom! “For the couple, this allows you to save money by not buying additional bouquets, wedding gifts and party expenses.”If you’re a bride on a tight budget, it might make sense to eliminate the bridal shower – plus, you’ll save your friends the expenses that come with bridesmaid duties and make it a win/win for everyone involved.
You don’t want distractions.
It’s a day about you and your future spouse. While it’s nice to recognize the friends and family who have supported you all along the way, it’s not mandatory. “This day is supposed to celebrate your love and commitment to each other, and that’s the most important detail,” Peterson recalls. If you just stand at the altar with your fiancee to stay present and focus on each other, then what friend could be against it?